Feb 7, 2011

THE BASIS FOR GOOD COMMUNICATION: LISTEN, LISTEN!!!


Dear reader, a good friend of mine suggested that I should focus on a specific subject when gathering my preferred quotes.  I kindly accepted his suggestion.  This is the end result. This blog focuses on LISTENING as opposed to SPEAKING as the basis for good communication and successful relationships in both, your private life and in a business environment.


Considering that in many occasions during a conversation, we simply do not listen the other party as we are just thinking about our answer and/or defending ourselves, I have selected a number of quotes that pinpoint the importance of listening and the need to think before we speak. There is also the alternative to remain silent. 


Sometimes, our silence is the best answer. And in any case, just for the sake of mutual respect, we should allow the other party to complete his/her statement before we answer and/or provide any explanation. It is to your own advantage to listen and to learn from others.


If we learn to listen (different from "hear"), there is a great chance that we can succeed in our daily communication and in our personal and professional development. I hope that you enjoy and learn from the following quotes.


Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.  Churchill


Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens. Jimi Hendrix


He who can take advice is sometimes superior to him who can give it.  Erica Jong


In all things, be willing to listen to people around you. None of us is really smart enough to go it alone.
  John Clendenin  


Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery. Dr. Joyce Brothers


The Land of Opportunity is an attitude. It is an openness to new ideas, a willingness to listen, an eagerness to learn, a desire to grow, and the flexibility to change.
 BJ Gallagher


Focus on listening. Listening is a sign of respect…a demonstration that people and their ideas are important. When people know you're willing to listen, they will share their ideas as well as their frustrations. Listening enables you to build a foundation of trust that is essential to motivation. John Baldoni


Coaches have to watch for what they don't want to see and listen for what they don't want to hear.  John Madden


If people listened to themselves more often, they would talk less. Unknown.


A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something.  Wilson Mizner


Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. Benjamin Franklin. 


Excellent service givers pay attention to the person and situation at hand. They listen for things the client isn’t saying.  Linda Byars Swindling


From listening comes wisdom and from speaking repentance. Unknown


Your conscience is the measure of the honesty of your selfishness. Listen to it carefully. Richard Bach


When a woman is talking to you, listen to what she says with her eyes. Victor Hugo


One of the most valuable things we can do to heal one another is listen to each other's stories.
 Rebecca Falls


I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. Publilius Syrus


When you say something, make sure that your words are not worse than your silence. Unknown


Silence is safer than speech.  Epictetus


Stay focused on what God would want when you get offended, and you will be more likely to do the right thing. Mike Randerson


False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil.  Socrates


What you don't see with your eyes, don't invent with your mouth. Jewish Proverb


You need two years to learn to speak and sixty more years are needed to learn to be silent. Ernest Hemingway


I don't hear very well but I try to listen you very carefully with all my heart and soul. This is critical for ideal communication, understanding and mutual love. E. Mendoza


Never provide unneeded explanations; your friends don’t need them and your enemies will not believe them.  Oscar Wilde


The sign of an intelligent people is their ability to control their emotions by the application of reason.  Marya Mannes


The ignorant one affirms, the wise questions and doubts and meditates/reflects. Aristotle


When you talk, make sure that your words are better than your silence and remember that you are master of your silence and slave to your words. Unknown


You should maintain your mouth closed when you are swimming and when you are angry and upset. Unknown


I rather annoy you with the truth, than to please you with adulation and flattery. Unknown


Nature has given men one tongue and two ears, that we may hear twice as much as we speak.  Epictetus.


The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.
 Hans Hofmann


Every person I work with knows something better than me. My job is to listen long enough to find it and use it.
 Jack Nichols


If you raise your voice volume, your arguments descend; is more intelligent the one that learns to tolerate than the one that shouts. Unknown 


The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart . St. Jerome


The best relationships--friendship and otherwise--tend to be those where you “can” say anything to the other person but you don't say “everything”.   Audrey Beth Stein


The best way to become boring is to say everything. Voltaire


One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears. Dean Rusk


Welcome ideas that are not your own. Be open to what others have to say without getting defensive. Make it okay for others to share their ideas — even if those ideas conflict with yours. John Baldoni


Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. James 3:5 (NIV Bible)


The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. James 3:6 (NIV Bible)


Wise men are not always silent, but they know when to be. Unknown


Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something.” Plato


In conclusion, in many occasions we don’t process/analyze what we say and we speak everything that we think without taking into account the implications from such words. I rather remain silent and learn from others and then react when appropriate.